I've always struggled with how much of my persona I want to show publicly. By withholding, remaining limited in my interactions on social media, and reducing other public displays of myself, I could version-control myself. I could bifurcate myself infinitely into different fragments of myself based on the audience I needed to impress.
I made an art of this for years - my work persona never knew my play persona which never knew my creative persona and infinitely onwards. And at some point, like any replicating system, I lost the thread and myself.
Much is written about the nature of perception and our own conception of reality - our senses each only see a fraction of the world at large and are in a perpetual process of making sense of those splinters and piecing them together into a whole. We are often guilty of over-relying on one sense, one view, and blinding ourselves to the greater truth.
And we are guilty of doing the same with the fragments of ourselves.
I am writing this blog as an ode to the kaleidoscope of my being. It is intentionally all over the map, unstructured, and at times potentially simultaneously too wordy or too concise. I chose the title Komorebi to reflect my intention of capturing the glimmers of sunlight peering through my dark subconscious to embrace and slowly make sense of all parts of myself and the world around me.
And thus, my ground rules to myself are as follows (and caveats to anyone who wishes to read my ramblings):
- Any ideas or notions are half-baked, at best, and presented in their rawest un-edited form
- Write without judgment or ambition for anything other than an extension of my journal and my own views of the world
- Any thematic writing should evolve naturally without being forced
- Maintain a questioning mindset - you will likely offend many along the way (including your future self) and that's part of the process
- Write out of love for all parts of your being, no matter how ugly or uncool or idiotic they may be
And thus sets in my terror of putting myself on display in search of greater meaning and truth.
Thank you for joining me on this journey.
Louise
